Surviving the Fog of Divorce: A Divorce Coaching Program for Men is such a unique offering, you might have some questions about what it is and how it works. Please take some time to read this Question & Answer interview with founder/creator Paul McGinniss before contacting/hiring him.
1. How long have you been coaching? I began professionally (formally) coaching individuals in 2006, and my history of working with people to achieve their goals dates back to my college years. After college, my career put me in many management positions where I worked with individuals to help them achieve their job-specific or company goals. Wherever I worked, people would seek me out for support, advice, feedback … or because I offered them a space to think and make their own connections about what was important to them. After working for nearly 20 years in some of the biggest companies in the world (and some of the smallest family-owned businesses on Long Island), I chose to start my own coaching business and help people work toward and achieve their own meaningful personal and professional goals.
2. What is your area of specialization? Though my background is corporate and many of my clients are small business owners, my chosen area of specialization is Divorce Coaching for Men. This program offers me the opportunity to work with men who are moving into, going through, or coming out of, what I call, The Fog of Divorce™ — something I went through myself and successfully navigated.
3. How did you end up specializing in this area? When I was going through my own challenging divorce, I was shocked at the seemingly total lack of resources geared toward helping men (especially men without children) deal with divorce. There were plenty of resources for parents and even more for women but practically nothing for men. When I started my coaching business and was thinking about where to focus, it hit me like a lightning bolt – “Why not be the resource I couldn’t find?!” I realized it made complete sense for me to use my personal experience and my coaching skills to create a program that could help men move through this very difficult period faster and with less pain than I experienced. I based the program on what helped me survive The Fog of Divorce™ and I tested it with a variety of divorced men (and women). The unanimous feedback was how helpful the program would have been for them if it were available when they were going though their divorce. I’m proud to be able to offer this program to men and trust I can make what can be an extremely difficult time a little easier and a little shorter.
4. Who are your clients? My divorce coaching program is designed for men of all ages whether they are moving into, currently going through, or dealing with the aftermath of a divorce.
5. How are you different from other people who call themselves coaches? First, I am a real-life actual trained and certified coach. My biggest pet peeve is seeing/meeting a professional who calls him/herself a coach—but really isn’t*. Second, I’ve actually been through an unexpected divorce and successfully moved on. Not everyone offering divorce coaching has personally experienced a divorce. Their approach is more, what I call, clinical. I’ve actually been through what you’re experiencing and I survived. Finally, I use a brain-based coaching model that uses the latest findings in neuroscience and how your brain works. I’m not a neuroscientist and I’m not a psychologist/psychiatrist… I’m a coach who works with how your brain works to help you get the results you want faster in a way that truly works for you. Even though it’s not brain science, it’s close and there is a method to my madness.
*For more on the differences between coaches and other professionals, see 13. How is coaching distinct from other service professions on the International Coach Federation (ICF) website.
6. What type of personality do you work best with and what is expected of me? I work best with someone who knows they need to do something to deal with their divorce but may not have any idea what that something is; who is frustrated with the type of “help” they’re currently receiving regarding their divorce; who thinks they might be ready to make a change; who simply needs an objective person to turn to; who thinks they may not be able to move forward on their own and is open to working with a coach. My best clients “show up,” work hard at keeping an open mind, do what they commit to doing, are willing to trust, and recognize they are human and going through one of the most difficult episodes in their life. In short, my best clients are sick and tired of being sick and tired and are looking for a way through the fog, even though they have little to no idea how to do that or what might be waiting for them on the other side.
7. What type of person is this program NOT going to work for? This program is not going to work for someone who is not willing to open up and put their trust and faith in someone else. It is completely natural given the nature of divorce to closely guard yourself against additional pain and shut others out. The good news is that this is your brain’s way of protecting you from harm. Because I use a brain-based coaching model, I can show you how to use your brain to clear away some of the fog and begin establishing clarity in your life. I’ll work with how your brain works to help you create focus and a sense of certainty – if you’re ready.
8. What exactly is “Surviving the Fog of Divorce: a Divorce Coaching Program for Men™” and what does it include? Surviving the Fog of Divorce: a Divorce Coaching Program for Men™ is a membership-based program created to help men survive The Fog of Divorce™. It was developed based on my real-life experiences before, during, and after an unexpected divorce. It has been positively previewed by a variety of divorced men (and women).
The Base Program:
- Access to the 7-Step Proprietary Process (plus one complimentary 30-minute phone call)
- Weekly Group Coaching Calls
- Special Website access (Men’s Club) with:
- Preferred Referral Network of divorce professionals
- Member Success Stories (“War Stories”)
- Members Only newsletter
- Checklists
- FAQs
- Tips
- Quarterly Community Events (optional; as planned)
The Enhanced Program:
- Level 1: Our Base Program PLUS 60 minutes private coaching one time per month for 6 months
- Level 2: Base Program PLUS 60 minutes private coaching two times per month for 6 months
- Level 3: Base Program PLUS 60 minutes private coaching two times per month for 12 months
- Level 4: Base Program PLUS 60 minutes private coaching three times per month for 12 months
9. How will we work together? It depends on how much of the program you want to use. For a basic member, once you join you get access to the resources and can participate in any of the Members Only calls you choose. If you decide to add the coaching, we’ll work by phone at the level you choose and we’ll start by assessing where you are in the midst of your relationship: having relationship trouble, in marriage counseling, moving into separation, currently separated, talking about divorce, moving into divorce, engaged in process of divorce, coming out of divorce… From there, we’ll determine what are your needs based on our Proprietary 7-Step Process. Once we’ve determined where you’re at, we’ll start to examine where you’d like to go (this can seem extremely challenging due to The Fog of Divorce): it could be very short-term (daily/weekly) goals or more intermediate (monthly) goals. Every person is different. Once we’ve started to clear away some of the fog, we’ll track your actions and determine what’s working and what’s not and course-correct to help you regain balance, focus, and happiness in your life.
10. I have a busy life and not much time to spare. How long is the program? Members can choose between several levels of one-on-one coaching from 60-minute coaching calls once a month for 6 months all the way up to 60-minute coaching calls three times per month for 12 months. It’s based on what your needs are.
11. What results can I expect? Like anything in life, you get out of it what you put into it. The more open you are and the more committed to yourself and your future, the more you will get out of it. I’ve experienced more focus, more balance, clearer direction, quicker momentum, more clarity, increased fulfillment and happiness. It depends on how prepared you are to take some level of control back over your life.
12. How quickly can I expect to see results? Again, this depends on your level of commitment and accountability. You can join a gym, go everyday with a Frappuccino® in your hand, and spend 60 minutes talking to people and not see any results. While I won’t make any promises, if you’re willing to work on this program, you should see progress and change in your life.
13. Does this really work? It worked for me. I believe it will work for you—if you’re ready for it.
14. Do people ever renew/extend the program? Every client is different. Some get what they need and move on, others may choose to extend their program to continue their progress, and some clients add a maintenance program (monthly check-ins). This isn’t “therapy for life.” The goal of the program is to equip you to move on with your life.
15. What’s the coaching investment? The challenge with a program like this is the touchy nature of divorce. For that reason, I decided to make it truly affordable to practically anyone.
- Base Program: entry level Member plan developed for the man who wants minimal one-on-one support and who understands the best way through a minefield is to follow someone else’s footsteps. Annual membership payment of $365 includes:
- Access to the my Proprietary Process (plus one complimentary 30-minute phone call)
- Participation in monthly group coaching/training calls
- Participation in Quarterly Community Events (as planned)
- Special Website access (“Men’s Club”) with:
- Members Only newsletter
- Member Success (“War Stories”)
- Checklists
- FAQs
- Tips
- Enhanced Program (Levels 1 – 4): Members can add one on-one private coaching onto the Base Program (price of Base Program is built into monthly payments)
- Level 1 Program: Developed for the man who can manage through the day-to-day craziness and who gets the most benefit from monthly checkpoints. Base Program PLUS 60 minutes private coaching one time per month for 6 months. 6 monthly payments of $150 each.
- Level 2 Program: Developed for the man who works best with some accountability and prefers checkpoints every other week. Base Program PLUS 60 minutes private coaching two times per month for 6 months. 6 monthly payments of $250 each.
- Level 3 Program: Developed for the man who values consistent action over a longer span of time with periodic check-ins. Base Program PLUS 60 minutes private coaching two times per month for 12 months. 12 monthly payments of $235 each.
- Level 4 Program: Developed for the man who prefers continuous and sustained accountability as the surest path to success. Base Program PLUS 60 minutes private coaching three times per month for 12 months. 12 monthly payments of $335 each.
16. Do you offer any discounts and accept credit cards? My practice is to offer a program at an affordable price and not to offer discounts. That way, you never have to wonder/worry if someone got a “better deal” than you. As for payments, you can start your Membership by paying with a credit card (online through PayPal), a certified check, or a money order.
17. Will I recover the investment I put into this coaching program? I’ve made the program so affordable I can’t imagine you won’t get your money’s worth. I think the question to ask is, “What is it worth to you to get your life back on track as soon as possible?”
18. What happens if you haven’t yet worked with people with my background? The coaching process is focused on where you want to go, not where you’ve been. It’s also flexible enough to adjust to most anyone’s situation. Your background is not critical. One aspect that facilitates great coaching is actually less familiarity, which allows more “clarity of distance.” This means the less I know about you and your past, the more I’m able to focus on you and your future. It also allows me to maintain more presence and objectivity and provide greater value as your coach.
19. Can I contact some of your former coaching clients to see what it’s like to work with you? Of course! I have many clients who have offered testimonials (you can find these on my website, too) and are willing to talk with prospective clients. The unanimous feedback I get from clients is they make more progress in less time, and often would have never gotten started if not for their work with me.
20. OK, I know which program I want. How do I get started? That’s great! It takes a lot of guts to begin to take back control of your life and move through The Fog of Divorce™. To become a Member, send an email to paul@divorcecoaching4men.com or call me at 516.216.4233. You’ll receive an invoice for whatever program fits your comfort level and once we receive payment, you’re in (!) and can start taking advantage of all the resources available through your membership.
21. If I’m not sure I’m ready to get started, how can I sample your work at low investment to see if it’s the right solution for me? I understand how you feel. One thing about divorce, it can practically shatter your level of trust in anyone or anything. I’m also a big believer that (practically) nothing of value is ever free. My suggestion: schedule a 30-minute Introductory Coaching Consultation. It’s my most affordable coaching call ($50) and the amount can be applied toward the Member Base Program if you decide to join.
22. OK, I’m ready to do this, and I have a couple of additional questions. Can I call you? It’s probably faster if you send me an e-mail (paul@divorcecoaching4men.com) and list your questions and a few dates/times to call you. That way, I can review your questions and schedule a call with you. Of course a call is fine, too (516.216.4233).
© 2008 Divorce Coaching for Men/Response-Able Consulting Inc. All rights reserved.
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